I need you to know

I need you to know that this usually vibrant city has been a deep shade of grey since you left. You thought I wouldn't notice if you slipped the light from my eyes into your suitcase when you took flight, but it's gotten so dark that I can't find my way. I'm tripping over words and knocking into bruised bones in an effort to find a light switch, but I'm starting to realize you are the switch and my eyes will just have to adjust until you're back in my arms and making me shine.

But I need you to know that I'm standing on the edge, and that I could fall from these crumbling walls and into your kiss in a heartbeat, but I've mastered this balancing act, so you'll never see me falter. But every so often, when I think you're not looking, I'll take a deep breath and steady myself, and I need you to know that in those moments you're so breathtakingly and imperfectly beautiful in your vulnerability that my daydream of us seems closer than ever. I need you to know that even though your hands have been unsteady and my heart's been playing hard to get, you've still managed to sweep me off my feet and into this fantasy, and now all I want is your lips against mine and your heart safe in my chest.

And I need you to know that this is the closest I'll get to whispering this in your ear because the tones in your voice and the sparkle in your eyes and the brush of your hand are intoxicating, and when we kissed goodnight you silently pulled the words from my lips until I'd forgotten what it was I ought to have said. And I need you to know that when my heart was pounding and I was holding tight to my glass and avoiding your eyes in favor of your lips, what I was really trying to say is that this isn't just temptation, that I'm yours, and I'll still be here in the morning, if you'll let me stay that long. But my mind never could compose the words my heart was dying to say so I'd watch you walk away again and again. And I need you to know that I lied when I told you it was nerves, it was really just foolishness that gave you the wrong impression.

So above all, I need you to know that I've finally found the words, and if we're lucky, one of these nights we'll shine again and I'll trace these secrets on your lips and your hands and your heart and show you what I've been trying to say all along: